Embracing Midlife | Why Life After 40 Is Actually the Best Part

0:03 SPEAKER_00: This is What the F Just Happened.

0:06 SPEAKER_01: The podcast that proves life is messy, midlife is so wild, and laughter is definitely non-negotiable.

0:13 SPEAKER_00: So grab a cocktail or a mocktail or your favorite emotionally supportive snack, and let's get into it.

0:29 SPEAKER_00: This is Sada and Hillary with Demet F Just Happened. We're so happy you are here with us today. So today's episode is titled Midlife. Turns out this is the good part. It so is the good part. I mean 40s and 50s, favorite decades. And and what we want we want to say to our little chicken nuggets in their 20s and 30s is um like You're floating adorable. You're adorable, but take your little matcha latte and you just probably came from Pilates and just have a seat and take a listen because you're in for a treat.

1:10 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and this is what you have to look forward to. And it is really, really, really good. I mean Oh, and love the yeah, 40s. I mean, what can I say? I you loved your 40s a lot. Loved my 40s. And you were like you were dating in your 40s, right? Well, I lost a hundred and ninety-pound human. Oh, I'm like and then dating. I mean, we'll we will cover dating in our forties. There's a whole thing. Yeah, we have my girlfriend Megan Toma. I have to say that and Claire. So, yes, I mean, we're gonna have a great dating episode about dating in midlife, but I mean, it was so different than dating in your 20s where you cared and you look everything was so much bigger, and you're looking for a life partner.

1:55 SPEAKER_00: I was not looking for a life partner, I was just looking to date. So And you had a good time. Oh my gosh, I had some. And so do you feel like in your 40s when you were dating, what did you feel like most empowered? Like why was it different in your 40s? Because I think you're just confident in who you are. You don't you've given a fucks and my criteria for dating was my age or older. I didn't, I was not looking to, and people can date date different ages. That's not what I was into. I wanted, I was looking for someone I could have a conversation with, I could have fun with, I could trust, let's say, if it went to that area.

2:34 SPEAKER_00: But it was just so much fun. You A, there's just there was money to go date. I mean you know it's like what's and also shivery, and we need to talk about that because men in my age range, let's say those men were anywhere from like yellow 40s to probably the oldest I dated was maybe eight to ten years older than me. It's funny you were just gonna say eighty because your voice went to like maybe eight to ten years. I thought you were gonna say eighty, and like you dated an 80-year-old. Yeah, because that would be like my father.

3:04 SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh. So well, I mean, some people do though. That's totally funny. It wasn't my jam. Yeah, you do you boo. Yeah. You do you, but not my jam. I don't think the kids say that anymore. What? You do you boo. You do you. Yeah, you do you, but I don't think they say boo anymore. I actually heard something really funny today that if you have kids, and so this is a shout out to everyone in their 20s and 30s, especially the 30s, let's say if you're raising children, and maybe like later 30s, so kids are a little older.

3:30 SPEAKER_00: If you want your children to stop saying words, then you start saying them because then it makes something cool. So Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. So if you want a kid to stop saying whatever the slang terms are, I heard that today on the radio. I thought that's actually really funny. That's kind of funny. I should have used that with my girls. That's kind of funny. Like my nephews are so into like this will age, you know, terribly, but you know, six, seven is like that's what they were saying. That's actually.

3:57 SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah. Oh okay, okay. So my nephews are like their that is their jam right now. And Maddie and Layla even kind of giggle, like laugh at it because it's such a it's a well, first of all, because of our age group, I saw somebody in a Halloween costume. Granted, it is January of 2026. If you're listening to this, but uh last October I saw um a group of people our age. Wearing six seven? Wearing, okay. So the the wife or the woman and the man first went out into the living room and they had a two shirt, they had shirts on.

4:30 SPEAKER_00: One was six and one was seven because that's the big thing now. There's no rhyme or reason to the six seven, other than when like in and out calls the number sixty-seven. Like there's hundreds of kids in in and out. Okay.

4:42 SPEAKER_01: So then the rest of the friend group comes out into the living room because they were having a Halloween party and they all line up together and it created 8675309.

4:54 SPEAKER_00: Just isn't that so good? That is the best. I'm like, that is the best costume ever. That has the kids were like, yeah, six seven, and they're like, no, no. So sit down, little Johnny.

5:09 SPEAKER_00: So if you're 20s or 30s, you might not even. They actually think they do. They actually saw another video on that. That they know the song. They know the song. And it with that someone started like singing and then people kept going. Oh, that's so funny. It was really rare that someone did not know that. Okay, that's funny. That's funny. Yeah, I think that maybe like my kids know a ton of like older song, you know, like older songs because Chris loved music so much. So he was always like introducing them to really good music.

5:36 SPEAKER_00: But okay, so yeah, so we're here, we're talking about our 40s and 50s glow up and how we actually really truly love the season in our lives. Such a good period because it you if this is for me, is you just I got away very comfortable in my skin where I didn't my skin was small, I probably all of our skin is small. I like it. Right. But I I didn't it was just one of those where you just were confident and I I felt like I knew myself better, I trusted myself more. I got right. I we didn't want we don't care to impress.

6:11 SPEAKER_00: Not do not care to impress at all. Knew very much what I no longer would accept or wanted. So anything that I felt that was below, let's say, my value level was absolutely not gonna happen. And I mean that was the fun part of dating was realizing that, yeah, there's a lot of people out there that don't match you, and that's totally okay. And you need to say, it's like Marie Kondo, you is that how you say it? Oh, yeah. Thank you, goodbye. I thank you, or I thank you. And you and I release you to go date.

6:42 SPEAKER_00: When she like gets rid of stuff in the house, because it's really like I would start you'd meet these men, and you know, a few conversations in, you're like, uh-uh, like this isn't vibe. Yeah, just it's not a vibe. I'm not right. Thank you next. And not that I thank you next. I think that's I think that that's what we I think we say next. Yes. Thank you next. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And I do that some right. There was but dating was so much fun in that period because also it came into it very emotionally ready and ready to move on.

7:14 SPEAKER_00: So that's not the same for everybody. But it's like if someone's struggling right now, there is going to be a day that you get there and just know it is wildly fun. Although I do hear, and Renan maybe this is I mean, this is a good this is a while ago, right? So this is on 56 now. So it was what, like 10 years ago. This is like early, uh, this would have been like no 10 years ago. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's this would have been, yes, or Sean, honey, it's not 10 years ago. Love you so much.

7:42 SPEAKER_00: Oh this would have been that was early 40s. Oh, I got divorced like we're talking 14, 15 years ago. Yeah. So I'll be with Sean 14 years. So this would have been like 15 to 16 years ago, let's say 15 and a half years ago. But I met Sean pretty quickly. Yeah. But I did a lot of dating in the six months or seven months that I'm a single. So you're an expert. I was even an expert, I will say. And and I could really quickly decipher is if you talk to people online, that's how we met, right? We met on Match, we already knew each other.

8:11 SPEAKER_00: But if people, let's say, are still dating online, the biggest thing is you have to move to a phone conversation. And we'll talk about this in the dating episode, but you get a different number. Don't use your own numbers, by the way. Get like a free Google number. But you have to have a phone conversation because the minute you hear someone's voice, you can roll people in and rule people out really quickly. And so you're not wasting your time. I think that was the biggest thing. This is my early 20s.

8:34 SPEAKER_00: I think it's really like FaceTime now, too. Oh, that's see, that's that's where it's me. Like in the whole like dating something out of the game. I've come out game for so long. I mean, you are no longer an expert, so you know. Yes. But I did, I did achieve expert levels. Yes. Uh in the gaming industry. I was expert level. I did a quite I put a lot of dates into the rotation. So expert on many levels is what you can say. Expert on many levels. Okay. So hey, I see. So anyway, so if you're in your 20s and 30s, just know that, right?

9:04 SPEAKER_00: Like I don't know if I was on that, but yes. So you had we're talking about competent in your 40s, like more I think at that point I was dating more for like a partner. Oh, like right. Like, yes, yes, yes. So that's the difference, is I wasn't dis and Grandma wasn't disserting. But when you're younger, it's more of like we're okay. Every single person is can you see your life going somewhere with someone? And when I got to my 40s, I didn't care whether my life went there. I absolutely that's like a good transition too.

9:31 SPEAKER_00: It's like you dating in your 40s to me would sound like um we really value like knowing what we want and we like like our alone time too. Like we like to kind of be with ourselves. I mean, I like I like love to do things like for myself and just fly it. And when we we earlier we were talking about um noise in the car. Like, oh my gosh. If you're driving to a destination and the music is too loud, and you're sticking along. What do you do? You freaking turn it down so that you can see the address.

10:10 SPEAKER_00: Like you have. That is not yes, that that is not your brain is not is like able to physically understand where you're going with the music on at a loud volume. Yes. My girls are always like, Mom, why do you drive sometimes with no with no music on? I go, because my brain is loud and I need like it's already loud and the outside world is loud. And I just enjoy like looking at the sunset while I'm driving. Oh, you do? I love that. I don't that's not my problem. My problem is I just I'm just dumber.

10:40 SPEAKER_00: Well, no, I can't concentrate if the NAS is loud. I need like I can't have that. How can you know too many noises all at once? Watching my NAS screen. No, yeah, yeah. Because I'm on a guided route. Having mute in your ear where you're going. No, it's just I can see it. It's a big screen right in front of me. We have big screens in our cars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm watching it, it's I mean it's but you still need to turn the volume down. Half to the volume. Nobody can talk. And I can do it. I can do that, let's say, driving, but when I'm being close to my destination, if I don't know where I'm going, then the volume has to feel down because somehow the guided navigation screen that's showing me literally where to turn is going to somehow not work within my music lab.

11:21 SPEAKER_01: You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of old, and I don't know if anybody else does this, but driving, obviously, with you know, yeah, it's like you can only find your destination if there's absolutely no um no volume in your car. Like the address will suddenly appear of the you know place you're supposed to go if it's quiet. It's like when you're at the airport and you go in the airport and you have to like walk to your gate. Like you go to your gate first, right?

11:49 SPEAKER_00: And you it's almost like you need to make sure that the gate is there. And trial run like a trial run. That's what they say. Like I do that. I'm like walk to your gate. I walk to my gate, and then you go somewhere else, and then I go to like the bar. Or I go to, yeah. I mean, usually I go to do like a drive-by. Yes, who else does that? I do that. Okay, if you do that, and maybe I'm totally weird. I love it. So you go and visually see it. I'm when I'm I you know send it Arizona, and you can walk by and you're like, oh, it does say B16 Arizona.

12:22 SPEAKER_00: I'm like awesome. Cool check, check that walk. I'm gonna go to the bar. I think that I do that because there could be a gate change, but I'm not sure why I do that. Look at the screen when you come in to the airport. Well, I have it on my app. It tells me what gate to go to when everything's written awesome. I just walk down there and I look at gate B16. I limit to see where it's going, and then I look around the lobby to see like if I want to sit down. Or most of the time I'm like, cool, the gate is still here at the same place B16 was last time it was in the airport.

12:56 SPEAKER_00: I like yes or last week. They didn't change like the actual Yeah, no, there's no construction going on right now therefore. So it's in the same place. It's been for eight years. I like it. And then I look at it and then I think great, I can go fill my water up, and then I go sit at a restaurant. Well, those are patterns, right? And so yeah, you you have your own pattern. Yeah, yeah, but that that may that is actually Okay, that's kind of a core, those are like quirky things, but I don't mind because I'm just usually like traveling by myself now.

13:27 SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, whatever. You I mean, I I'm not sure why I do that, but it's just like a why do we turn the volume down in the park?

13:34 SPEAKER_01: We can still find the location if it was lasting like your son, it's still there.

13:38 SPEAKER_00: The app was it's gonna show me that I've gotten to my destination. No, it's so that's so funny. I mean, that's just kind of like where the 40s and 50s gets. I mean, maybe we So is that like one of the things where the question is like what surprised you most of older? Is that is that now we have to let our dog into the room? Yes, I'll uh I'll let him keep on. My darling 11-year-old Dakota who's so cute is wants to come in and join us. Um, but yeah, get surprised by getting older is yeah, that that is so funny how you have to you've like my multitasking skills, and I think I multitask pretty well on some things, but then there's others I just like I only do one thing.

14:15 SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, multitasking skills are I mean, and what's surprised for you also is the fact that like I leave a room and I'll literally walk with intention to another room, and then this is like what a five second further time. I get there and I have absolutely no idea why I'm there. Like, what what did I like? I have to think back in my brain is what was I thinking about before I walked into Sick Room because I got here and I have literally no idea how to do it. Oh, I don't know. It's so surprising.

14:44 SPEAKER_00: That's all of it, all uh every single one of our friends, like my s we all talk about doing the same thing. Like, what did I come in here for? But but discovery is fun. So for the 50s, I kinda I mean I always have the same as all like yeah, the you know, the silver lining in that is being you know older and forgetting about why I walked into this room is oh okay, that's kind of fun. Like that's oh I I can actually think back and remind myself of okay, my brain still works. I can actually go backwards and then ah, that's why I'm here.

15:15 SPEAKER_00: I mean, I yeah, I I we and we all okay, so those are some maybe quirky things about us loving a really long sidebar. Our 40s and 50s. We okay, we also like good lighting and we really good and we love really good sleep. Although, do you sleep well? No, I slept terrible. I know. So that's a nice thing. That's something we love about our throw this out to all of our actually. We'll tell you, we've almost hit a thousand dollars. So thank you to everyone who's listening. I mean, that's why we'd be one person listening for all these lines.

15:46 SPEAKER_00: That's why we got picked up from the big uh corporation. Sponsors for CC. No, I want to have an actual episode on pillows, and this sounds so dumb. Oh, we need to do it. I hate my pillows.

16:02 SPEAKER_00: Like they're comfortable for said a week. And I was just texting with Rachel last night. Yeah, and this was a conversation we're having at dinner. Is this part of our actual friendship conversation ongoing? And this is we're spinning out like they say when we go out. What pillows are you using? Or like when we go out to eat, we're like, send be sure to send the links for the vitamin D you're taking or for the soup recipe. Like, you guys, we don't sound very fun, but we actually are really fun. Like we are really funny on the pillow rack that I have shoulder issues and I like to flip and like to toss and turn.

16:38 SPEAKER_00: I know. So anyway, do I start to do that? I think you need to like try a few, and then I would turn them. If you walked around my house right now and you went into every closet, you would be stunned by how many pillows I have. Really? Yeah, so what am I gonna do with them? I can't donate them. So I I don't know. Is that weird pillows? It's like donating your bra and underwear. Like you really can't do that, right? I think you can, but yeah, but I bet you we have no less than 35 pillows in this house.

17:03 SPEAKER_00: Really? Yes. Because I buy a ton of them to try and and they all feel great for the first night. And then by night three, I'm like, this pillow sucks. How yeah, I'm not returning in. We can have a um we can go through we can have the twinkles sidebar, but okay, we can do it go through, yeah, like our favorite things. We can maybe like we can maybe do that. Yeah, so sleeping, yeah. I'd say sleeping on that. Okay, I don't sleep well. I don't I don't sleep well either. So if anybody ever wants to like chat online, um I'm usually at between the hours of three and four forty-five.

17:35 SPEAKER_00: Right? Like the witching hours. The witching hour. And so are almost all my girlfriends. I can go on Instagram at at 3:30 and I s I can chat with my girlfriend Kristen. My sister's usually awake. Like I weren't crazy. Mm-hmm. We can talk about that. That's gonna be when Amy comes on. That's a whole hormone thing. Yeah, Amy is gonna be coming on. She was amazing on episode four and talked about kind of running through uh season one. Yes, season one. I forgot, so I weren't season two. So she was like our fourth episode on season one.

18:08 SPEAKER_00: Um she was amazing, and she's gonna come on and talk about hormones, which is gonna be so incredible. So yeah, maybe I don't know. I mean, I don't know. My merments are still fine because I still recruited at 56. So I'm that really just like bums me out. It's so busy. It makes me feel like I have a long way to go. I really hope you do. Why? That is so if I have to be here that all all y'all then be here too. Well, I mean, I'm it's just an annoying place to be. It is annoying. But the clips that I heard from all my doctors, it's right, you want it's great.

18:40 SPEAKER_00: For your body, you can your heart, and you're supposed to live longer the longer that you have uh your period. So exactly. Hopefully there's not too many men um listening uh to this, which I I don't I can't imagine. Maybe three, maybe two, and one would be like my dad and my stepdad just to be less supportive. And Sean. And Sean supportive, exactly, exactly. Yeah, I wouldn't listen to that. Um so like what other um like what did you feel like maybe um um you thought you would have figured out by now in your 50s that maybe you haven't and you're looking forward to figuring it out?

19:18 SPEAKER_00: I honestly I think I've come to the resolution, and this is just me, is I'm pressed I'm never gonna figure it out. I love that. And that's I mean, I think I used to always think that to myself is oh gosh, everyone else has it figured out. I I always felt like for me that I felt behind, even though there was never a stage where we just looking back, I never felt like I I was insecure, let's say when I was young. We're talking like middle school, high school, like kind of those early like college years.

19:47 SPEAKER_00: And at some point, I think the first someone ever called me a bitch was like probably my early 20s, and I thought, yeah, yeah, I am a bitch. Wait, when and you're what? I think I was my early 20s. Oh, and I remember instead of because I always had such like a people pleaser mentality, yeah. It was the first time where I was like, yeah, I I am gonna be a bitch, and like that actually feels really good versus always like being people. I feel like it took me to my 40s to get there. Really? Yeah, because I've always just been not like people pleaser.

20:20 SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, obviously I can be crappy or bitchy when I wanted to, but like really real like empowerment. Yes. Um, I don't mean bitchy mean. I mean like I'm not taking your shit, bitchy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, not bitchy mean, just like yeah, like you almost had boundaries for yourself. Yes, absolutely. But that's where I kind of I kind of looking back, I think I always thought, like, I I just never have it figured out. And now I finally realize I don't care. Right? I'm but what am I trying to figure out actually?

20:50 SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not solving cancer. No, I'm not like I'm not you're I'm I even mean like there's my purpose on this earth is pretty like mid-level. Well we I'm okay with it. Yeah, yeah. Like I'm not I'm not going on and curing things and I'm not inventing things, and that you're and I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not your jam. It's not my jam. So I I think that that's sort of the I'm never gonna have it all figured out, but I'm also not looking to have it figured out. So let's talk about I would like to figure out my house decorated Monica, so get me on your schedule.

21:25 SPEAKER_00: I know. Our friend Monica, she is so amazing. She'll be on. She'll be on. She's gonna be on for quite a few things. But she's really just like a natural gifted interior designer who we want to like on like Joanna Gaines on steroids. And we want her to help us with our podcast room. Oh, I just need her anyway. Keep going. That's not in my house, but it's in your house. Um, okay, so let's talk about um like feeling confident in our 40s and 50s, um, and feeling like how do you feel as a woman in your in 40s?

22:00 SPEAKER_00: And 50s in terms of um your sexy level or your empowerment level, or how do you like how do you feel as a woman in your in your 50s? Like, are you feeling you feel more confident? You feel fantastic. Well, I will say there's a couple of variations to that. So it depends on the moment. So I was telling Sada earlier, I bought the Hume scale. I think that's how you say it. H-U-M-E. And I feel actually after the story, they probably won't be sponsors for us. Yeah, you probably won't. A sponsor looks fine and maybe return, you know.

22:30 SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you're thinking, oh, I've been working out for a year. I might tell people what that is. I didn't know what it was. Scale is like a scale that you have like this is like a DEXA kind of a thing where it gives you body composition. So it's not only just your weight, it's like how much water is part of your how much how much do you weigh in water? So you stuff on like a regular scale. Yes, and then you have this little string that you pull up and you have your hands on the sensors and you have an app.

22:55 SPEAKER_00: That sounds like a racket. That sounds like a racket. Well, first of all, I stuck on the scale and it was three pounds heavier than my other scale, which I already hit gain weight from the holidays. So that was in itself very exciting. I mean, who did that gain weight in the holidays? Yeah, well, I like I can gain and I had also gone up my first epitide, which that will be I actually just restarted that last night. I thought like, oh, I can do this on my own. No, I actually can't do this on my own.

23:17 SPEAKER_00: And so, but I get on this horrible contraption, and I'm thinking, oh, Marlowe and I can go into a trainer for a year. We've got so much stronger. I can see muscle in some areas, and yes, there's other layers of flood that are on top of them. But I'm totally fine, you guys for going on. We're totally going. Yeah, no, according to the scale, like I mean, talk about taking your sexy level down. Oh, we're supposed to be talking about taking it up. Well, well, I did take it up. That's real life. The real life was I got on it and went, You're a fucking asshole.

23:49 SPEAKER_00: And then I got off of it and said to Sean, that thing is going back because I'd hate you. And then, you know, he was like, No, it's actually really good. We can like get better information. I was like, fuck the information. Oh my god, I don't want the information. And then yeah, and then I turned around and walked away from it, and I felt fine. Okay, so she messages me earlier and she's like, Sada, I have gained some weight after I went off the GLP and I think I'm gonna go back on. And and this is the person that is basically like our admin for uh like my admin for my life because I have no brain cells.

24:25 SPEAKER_00: After Chris passed away, I cannot keep anything straight. So she does all of her admin work. She makes sure that like our guests are scheduled and she makes sure that my my recall on my car, that I make my appointments, and that I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to be doing. So she messages me earlier and she's like, okay, I got this scale and this thing is a piece of shit. It's telling me I gained X amount of weight, and it also said that I was fat. And I was like, the scale called you fat?

24:53 SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think it did without these. You said it like it said words on there because it was like a fancy scale, right? Yes. I think they were, I don't think it was the words fat the word. I would imagine that basically won't be our sponsor. Probably. Okay. It was basically like I'm gonna just say that insert whatever word it actually used, it could have just like you had some work to do, is what it basically said. It basically said, like just go back to bed. Like whatever work you've been doing, girlfriend, it ain't working.

25:22 SPEAKER_00: And then I told her, you need to just throw that piece of shit out. Oh no, what I said you were trying to be all positive. Okay, and what I said was that if it did um um, if it did illuminate some sort of negative word and it wasn't the word fat, it basically said, You have some work to do in so many words. And I said, Well, that sounds like a very terrible mean scale. And I feel like if someone made a scale like that, a company, that it should accompany a kind affirmation alongside of a derogatory comment saying that you are have work to do.

26:02 SPEAKER_00: Like you're slightly overweight and you're still she told me that it flashed fat across the screen. I'll just let you all know that. I mean, my and ad living. Okay. But that's basically what it was telling me. And and she's not like we're and this is a terrible our 20-somethings don't listen to this. Don't listen to this. You guys, well, first of all, they're all beautiful. And this is uh pre-like the weight, you know, the shit that we have to deal with in pre-ment pauses. Wild. Exactly. I'm sure that's my problem.

26:30 SPEAKER_00: But yeah, no, it didn't flash that, but at first something like that. I mean, and I was like, come on, my legs are strong. I actually have a lot of leg muscle. Oh, I know. Oh, you were like, I do not. It basically flashed that. And I don't know what the actual word was. I'll I'm not getting back on it again because it's I've I have broken up with it. So I basically went through it. You made it sound like it flashed um like fat girl on the line, it basically which is a terrible thing to do. And I said, Well, if it does that, it needs to also say, you know, uh you're doing great, you're doing great.

27:06 SPEAKER_00: You have an an amazing heart, and you're so strong, and you're so smart. Keep going in life because that is what I want you to know. Right. One foot in front of the gym. One foot in front of the other. Toxic positivity straight to the gym. One foot straight to the gym. So sometimes like um I don't care as far as and um a bitch in type A, like that does get people somewhere. So I mean I know I'm not type A though. I'm not seeing how it's working, but I'm totally type B. But no, I think that I get to the level where I mean, honestly, even I was joking with our pictures from two years ago where I'm not joking, and I'm gonna say this, and people I'm not kidding.

27:44 SPEAKER_00: I will post these because I have I think like it's good for people to see. You can change yourself. I look like I eat somebody. And I said I've said that before, joking, but I'm not joking. I mean, I look like my face is a level of just it's chumpy. It's chunky to a different level. Beautiful, but I still felt really good about myself. Like what I even when I was bigger, it doesn't like my confidence in like the sexy level that was not that was not weight-based. And I don't know. I think that comes from an interior and we've been friends for quite a few years now.

28:17 SPEAKER_00: So I feel like when we first met, there was I mean we oh my gosh, we just like we had similar style, we loved similar things in terms of fashion, you had cute handbags. I was like, oh, I've you know, she there was nothing to do with weight. And now what I feel like is happening is we are confident, but we now we want to like really take care of ourselves. Yeah, and that's the thing is weight weight became not an issue of like dressing. I mean, it was always it's always easier to dress a little bit yeah when you're a little bit smaller just to throw stuff on.

28:50 SPEAKER_00: I had to be more careful, I'd say, about what I was wearing. But I was doing I did this because I want longevity. Right? I want to get to my 60s, which I'm close to, 70s, 80s. Oh my god, that's so like that's so freaking close for me. I know. And I want to be able to I mean it's close for everyone. I mean, we can all like tomorrow could be the last day forever. Totally. Yeah, I just want to take care of my body the best way that I can. And I wasn't treating it according. I wasn't honoring it, I guess I should say.

29:20 SPEAKER_00: And so that became the big sort of push for me was I want to be able to take my body as far as I can um and do things for as long as I can. And so that became my sort of change. But deal. I mean, sexy level, yeah. Frickin' rocket it. I know. I mean I've all uh yeah. I mean, don't look at me now because I'm in a rescue dog sweatshirt in my leggings. Actually, thought that my Pilates maybe it or nation shirt, but no, this okay. Shout out to this is my literally Sky Sanctuary rescue street dogs in Arizona.

29:52 SPEAKER_00: And they I mean there's so many great rescue organizations, but Sky Sanctuary, I mean, they literally take dogs off the street or take these horrible cases, and they are incredible. I love that. Just by the way. That's your jam for sure. It's my yeah.

30:06 SPEAKER_01: And then I think we said that your jam twice.

30:09 SPEAKER_00: Does that I think I feel like that's a midlife term? It's us. I'm just gonna idle that.

30:15 SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, you guys. Okay, let's talk about uh like what like what else are you doing in your in your 50s?

30:23 SPEAKER_00: Um, can we talk a little bit about like um uh cagles? Are you doing those? No, I am not. Should I be? Well, I don't know. I think there's mixed reviews because now the buzzword's like pelvic floor therapy. Okay. And that's supposed to be is that like where we're just squeezing? Uh no, it's supposed to, yeah, I think it's like you have to go to pelvic floor therapy. Like you have to, it's like PT, but there's actual pelvic floor therapists now. And I heard that Kagles is like not the thing to do anymore.

30:54 SPEAKER_00: I know, but I will tell you what I have always done, which is kind of where we're gonna throw this out to the universe. Is if you're going to the bathroom and like you're just right, like you're having to pee, is if you stop. Oh, you're supposed to stop. I do that. I've done that. Oh that's it. And so like, you know, it just because that kind of like, right? It's having that sort of maybe that's why you know it's a little tight down there. I don't know who I am, right? But I mean, how would you know?

31:17 SPEAKER_00: We don't know, but I know Ginny does that little service I should like write. Oh, yeah, she does. Do they do? And Ginny will come on too. Um she can talk about that because yeah, how do you know? Right, I don't know. I yeah, I don't know. But I've always didn't have, but that's actually interesting. So I asked because, like, you know, is this the era that we're in where me, when I have to sneeze, I'm like instantly cross my legs over. So Are you really? Yes, you're not. I'm not. Okay, well then maybe your your little like my trick, your trick on the toilet for so many years is helpful for you.

31:49 SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's why like sometimes you only have to like use the rest of the group it's like I'm not being long. I just you've gotta like, you know, just take the extra 15 seconds. Okay, no, I've never done that. Yeah, but I I do like have to like cross my legs so I don't like maybe the next moment you're at the airport and you've done your drive by and then you can go to the bathroom or sit back on the plane, and then you can like look at my gate and then don't go to the bar. No, go to the battery.

32:15 SPEAKER_00: No go to the bathroom and work on my cake. Drive by, then bar, get some liquid, then go to the bathroom. Okay, work on that, and then you can Okay. I mean, I you guys, I don't it's not like I not peeing or something. No, no, no. I'm talking about the bar. Like it's not like it's not like I go to the like it's not like I have to like go to the bar at the airport. I'm just letting you guys be in there. I just love to travel and I love to sit at a bar and like people watch the airport. I'm not thinking you're slamming them back and like taking shots.

32:48 SPEAKER_00: I mean I have before, but I d I don't. I normally have a glass of wine. Or I'll I mean I don't have to, but you're sitting relaxing and just chilling. I like love the buzz of the airport. I I at least and I mean I have an American Express and I can go into the to the boosha fancy. But are you fancy? But I I don't I like the buzz of the people watching in the airport. Yeah. There's a lot of fun people. There is just, and I was a flight attendant for many years. I'd better, you know, we'd have this like below ground area that we could go into to like rest.

33:21 SPEAKER_00: And I would if I had to, like, they had like napping rooms and things like that. But for the most part, I like enjoyed sitting up up above and like were you in your whole like Yeah, I work for American Airlines. I've been my whole alpha. Oh, were people like yay? Well, I was in my twenties. I mean and my butt was a lot higher. I think people were all over you. I mean, we had a it was a fun time, but then I was also married and I had Layla. And then yeah, so but so you're in the very beginning. Shout out to my I mean feelings and united uh girlfriends.

33:52 SPEAKER_00: So 20s. Who you are? So 20s. That was sounds like your my forties was your 20s. That's right. How do you get there? In my 20s, I was still like, no, I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I didn't know who I was. I mean, I can hardly make it to my my flight some some mornings.

34:09 SPEAKER_00: Um, but here we are, and now I'm in my forties. In your forties, right? No, I think I don't know. I think forties and fifties. And granted, a lot of stuff goes down, obviously. Right. I mean, this is I think the era of where divorces happen a lot. Yeah. I think unhappiness in marriage happens a lot. I think you're realizing you're sort of mid-life and okay, like I heard I fit the level where it's not that I'm not gonna go back to school and like get my master's PhDs. Right. Those are changing for me.

34:37 SPEAKER_00: But I think when you're in your 40s, like young forties, you can still do a whole other career. Oh my gosh. I mean, things like Zara Wayne didn't even like start her dressmaking business until she was like in her like 48 or so or it's like mid-40s. Isn't that crazy? And I mean some of the top realtors, right? And then they go back and start in their 40s. Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm well past that, but um, so I just think being in the season of um midlife blow up is just really fun. And that is not to say that it doesn't come with I mean, look at some of the crazy shit that Hillary and I have gone through.

35:14 SPEAKER_00: Like well, I mean, you losing your blue lumber sin. But I mean, lit how I have a child with Crohn's that requires a lot of monitoring. I have, you know, um And that was little I mean, that still is a daily Oh my gosh, and so scary when she got sick. Yeah, it's just I still live, you know, with the crap, right? You still live with the stuff that you wish your life could just cruise along. But the bottom line is it doesn't. But to feel empowered and like confident in your answer. I mean, even just like for instance, calling doctor's offices or calling specialty pharmacies.

35:48 SPEAKER_00: Like, I am like, nope, get me to the next person. Where when you're in your 20s and 30s, I think that you definitely don't like. I tell everyone now, like, be the squeaky wheel, like with our kids, uh, you know, with if you have a sick kid or whatever, whatever you're trying to do, like I don't care. I pay insurance, I am in a freaking call that pharmacy every single day until my child's medication gets filled and gets sent to it. You know, so if you feel like you're not getting answers, right, then it's not just anything.

36:17 SPEAKER_00: No, because now it's like right, you're I agree. I'm going, I don't like the word well. I still feel like I'm as not that I'm not as nice as I was. I just don't have the patience for one people to not do their job the right way because I feel like I work so hard at doing my job the right way. But also, I don't know, people just have like a yeah, I just don't tolerate as well anymore. I think in the last episode, um, at the end of season one. Yes, guys, and of season. I think we said no is a complete sentence.

36:49 SPEAKER_00: Yes, our boundaries. So we did talk about boundaries. But that's great. What I will say is that does not apply to me or you because no is a complete sentence when we use it, but I don't accept no as a complete sentence from somebody else. Oh, I see. That doesn't launch you. He is a launchy ma to getting to a yes. Okay, yeah. Because I do tell my kids where there is a will, there is a way. Yes. Like you never accept no. If you want to have a job somewhere, you just keep going and toss that job. You keep possibly you dive.

37:18 SPEAKER_00: You reach out to the person on LinkedIn who is the hiring manager of the hiring manager, and you, you know, all of that. Oh, yeah. So I think that's it. I think if you you choose it right, no one your world is a complete sense. Yes. You say it to put him a boundary. Someone else is saying it to you. You want something and they're giving you a no. No, you just go right around that. Yeah, to put them a boundary a hundred percent. Yeah. You cross that boundary. Um, yeah. What else were we gonna just kind of like touch on?

37:42 SPEAKER_01: I mean, we love this season.

37:44 SPEAKER_00: I feel like well, friendships, I feel like yeah, we're gonna be. You know, we're gonna yeah, we're gonna talk about that, but uh some of your best friendships, especially depending on where you are in your life and right what decade you're in, some of your best friends you have not met yet. That's what I tell my kids.

38:01 SPEAKER_01: Yes, every like when they're like, We know mom, I go, I am telling you some of the most precious, amazing souls that you will ever meet in your entire life who will be your complete lifesavers.

38:14 SPEAKER_00: Like life rafts will not come until your 30s. Or there's a good part that comes when you have little ones and yeah, doing all the school stuff, right? Through all that psycho. I met, I mean, I still have such solid, amazing friends from when my kids were in elementary. Sure. My girlfriend's from California. Yeah. Um, I have a few solid girlfriends from high school, maybe two from junior high, honestly. Oh my gosh, you still wait. So I what's actually been fun about this podcast is I had people reach out to me.

38:46 SPEAKER_00: Oh, from the past. Yeah. And I mean, people that like maybe I was friends with or more acquaintances with. But I mean, I'm still one of my best friends growing up with. I think we met, gosh, I probably met her in the seventh grade. Yeah. Sean Method. So that's junior high. Yeah, we were just she is my longest standing friend who I talk to like all the time. Yeah. We could not, you know, she lived in Norway for a long, long period of time. Just now think we're back in the Bay Area. But she is a friend that is that kind of friendship where you don't see each other moving for a year or talk.

39:14 SPEAKER_00: The best. You just pick right at the best. You just never, right? It's always exactly the same. Um, but yeah, it's been fun to have some of my old I love that people who I loved from high school or just acquaintances from high school reach out and just like check and say hi, like DM me. It's like so much fun. We're that's we're really nice people who I love that you just haven't talked to forever. Yeah. And I mean, obviously there's things that we talk about that, you know, we don't people that you want to go away.

39:42 SPEAKER_00: Is that what you're trying to say?

39:44 SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I guess maybe love people that we necessarily, yeah, don't necessarily want uh to hear this, you know, these podcasts, but at the same time I feel it.

39:53 SPEAKER_00: We're in our forties and fifties. But honestly, I think those friendships that let's say go to the wayside for whatever those reasons are, that actually releases them to go have those friendships too. It's not it's not in negative, right? Absolutely. It's if you're not gonna be authentically aligned and really, you know, sort of just have a beautiful depth where you can like you're always uplifted and know that you're gonna still go through life with people, then great. Then then that's okay. They were in your life for a season and you learn something, or it's never not a learning.

40:27 SPEAKER_00: Yeah. And then they went, then they get to go find people that they're gonna have for the rest of their lives. Yeah. And I think too, like as we get into our uh 40 or we're in our 40s and 50s, it's what I love is that you feel empowered to really just like make sure that you are with the right people, that you're hanging out with the right people. So it gives you that. And just it's just like the empowerment part of this age where you really just you care so much, but then you don't care in other areas.

40:56 SPEAKER_00: Yes. Because it's just too much like drama baggage. I don't stand for any of that, any like at all. I like cannot deal with any of that. So I think it's gonna have a lot of. I mean, there's never a time with our girl gang that you don't come away just feeling happy and joyful. And like I so look forward to when we plan stuff to do together. Like, there's never a moment where I'm like, oh my, it's always so much fun and refreshing, even when we're doing absolutely nothing. Oh yeah. So that's actually the best times.

41:27 SPEAKER_00: Well, yeah, I mean, we do end up having like when the things aren't totally planned, we end up having the best time. And I that's to say for any friendship, even in your 20s and 30s, like I remember some of the best nights out, like in my 20s, were nights I either didn't want to go out or nights that there were no plans and you were like, Oh, it's gonna be a boring night, and it ended up being like the funnest thing ever.

41:48 SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know, I I just love that. So I try to always tell my girls that too. Like, just take right the journey.

41:54 SPEAKER_00: Like if someone asks you to go do something and you're tired and you want to lay in bed with your dog or your cat, like sometimes it's okay to just be like, I'm gonna go give it a try. Yeah, absolutely. But you never know where the road will take you back.

42:05 SPEAKER_01: I'm like I love that. Yeah. Um, so I I think that's just kind of we just wanted to kind of touch on some of the funny and beautiful and confident things that we felt like in, you know, in our 40s and 50s.

42:21 SPEAKER_00: Well, because I think people just talk about like, oh, you're getting older, like, and you need and your sex life sucks and your marriage, you know, that's when the divorce true thing.

42:32 SPEAKER_01: True. But if you work on some of those things, whether you have a shitty marriage and you're trying really hard to save it.

42:39 SPEAKER_00: I mean, Chris and I worked very hard to save our marriage. Absolutely. Like I feel proud of that, you know, and not everybody can do that, and that's okay. That's not their life path. Whatever, whatever's paid for you is already paid for you. Yeah, and sometimes Wells Fargo calls and you have to let that person go. Exactly. That would be season one, episode three, right? But yeah, but that's right, but that's it, is it's all those it is definitely it's balanced with a lot of milestones and not all of them are easy.

43:08 SPEAKER_00: There's actually a lot of hard things. But yeah, but it's also balanced with like so much joy and laughter and like getting to a point with yourself where I I don't take myself seriously, obviously, at all. Oh my gosh. Like I really, you know, like I say these things and I mean it doesn't mean that I'm like sorry, I'm obviously I'm sarcastic with myself, which is And that's that's basically why we're friends, because we you like we bust up laughing over the funniest freaking stuff. I mean, that's why we we are calling this episode midlife turns out this is the good part.

43:41 SPEAKER_00: Because it is the good part. So it is you are so many beautiful things. Yes, if you are listening in your 20s or 30s and you're in the thick of it with you know, you're in your 30s or even 40s, if you have kids a little bit later.

43:53 SPEAKER_01: It's like if you are in the middle of it with your marriage and your little ones and you're so tired and you have Done a date night and you don't feel confident and sexy in yourself anymore.

44:03 SPEAKER_00: Nothing's to say you shouldn't go out and try to like do those date nights and make yourself feel good, in my opinion. But I don't think it's until you really get, I don't know if it's empty nesting, but when you get to your 20s, or I'm sorry, your 40s and 50s, where there's just something that kind of like clicks and turns. I mean, even a couple of my girlfriends that have turned 60, they're like, oh no, this is the best. Oh, really? I love that. Yes. Oh my gosh, we need I we need their we need their feedback.

44:30 SPEAKER_00: I know. I need them because I'm not there yet. I wish I had my girlfriend Jackie. I mean, with honestly, like 60s like the new four. Well, I mean, if she's and seven because my friend is like 50. Beautiful. Yes. Hot mama, like her hair, like she's just so great. And I'm like, you are freaking rocking it at your age, and you are just looking so great. 70 and 80. I mean they absolutely look stunning. Oh, I mean, I think that to be alive in this day and age where we have access to so much information and on health and nutrition and working out and strength and and then we have like hair and makeup and all of that.

45:08 SPEAKER_00: All the stuff. I mean, yeah, there's women who draw up, come in, you're like, You are fantastic, you're fabulous. So I bet that the women in their 60s, 70s would definitely, and maybe even 80s, say, turns out that this is the good part. I love that. That'll be fun if even gets better. No, I mean they I I Okay, we need to have we need we need to. We had a couple of my girlfriends on too. Um, we we sh for su but sure for sure should do that because they think what we are talking about now that it gets even better, which makes me super happy.

45:38 SPEAKER_00: Amazing. But remember being in like your 20s and 30s, and I was like afraid. I thought like 45 was old. I just thought the first time I got, and I probably got my first gray hair, and I didn't gray a rubber. I just yes, and 45? No. Oh, first gray hair like when I was 20. Oh, yeah. And then that's I think I did too. Yeah. But you're almost sitting like, what has happened? I know that was like the most horrifying moment, and now I get my total gray little halo every three weeks, right over my crown, and they're like, whatever.

46:04 SPEAKER_00: No, I just said you need to put some more, like get some some blonde hair. Right? It's whatever.

46:08 SPEAKER_01: Um, is there anything else that we want to just touch on, funny or otherwise, with being in this age racket of amazing, beautiful 40s and 50s that we could share with um, you know, with our crown? Besides the fact that, yes, do we all still have the normal struggles of like we talked about before of hormones and our bodies changing and all of that?

46:30 SPEAKER_00: Yes. But do you feel like confident and sexy and funny? And like we, it's almost as if we have so much fun, like not just in our friend group, but like as women this age, like dancing or eating, going out to eat and busting up laughing and then like having drinks. Because you're not you're not worried about who's watching you. No, because in your 20s, even though that was fun, you still had so much less confidence.

46:56 SPEAKER_01: And now we just do it because it is fun and we know life is short and we want to get out there and have a great time, you know?

47:02 SPEAKER_00: Like, and we're silly. Yes. I think being silly is a huge part of it. And when you're as flimsy and one of our girlfriends named Kay, when you're wearing somebody else's dress, it's okay, keep it down. We don't care if the floor or you're saying she started starts with the kids. Yes. Oh my gosh. I was like, we have a friend named Kay. Okay, I do actually, but yeah. And remember how hysterical she was in her dancing and no one gave a crap. And she was so worried about getting the dress. Oh my gosh.

47:27 SPEAKER_00: That she was holding an oven. I'm like, I can see your nude panties. Oh yeah. You need to put that down. But she was like, That's how much that you don't give enough. So when you're in your 40s and 50s, you actually end up in the club, like the club.

47:38 SPEAKER_01: Um, it's some, you know, in a a random city when you have a girls' weekend and you hold your dress all the way up.

47:44 SPEAKER_00: You're worried about getting it dirty. Because you're worried about getting your friends dressed dirty and you are totally uh like yeah, and like you're cute and you can't, and you have phenomenally great legs. Well, and she has a really good rhythm. Oh, she's oh no, she's amazing. She's the best. All the people on it. It's just because like it that would not have happened to me in my twenties because I was so worried about getting a little bit more. But I'm watching me kind of just in my dress or looking holding my dress up, like worried more about getting it dirty than about where it was in relation to my chest.

48:11 SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, I mean, we it I think in your 40s and 50s and beyond, you just realize how precious life is, and you just try to have as much fun with as little um, you know, interference as possible, meaning arguments, toxicity, drama, any of that. You just do not want any of that. Yeah, and all the decades are also different, but but this one, you guys, is really good. Like there's a lot of just fun stuff with it.

48:40 SPEAKER_01: So well, this is midlife. This is what we're talking about. Um, and you know, thanks for joining us today.

48:46 SPEAKER_00: We're you know, we we did go off on some of our silly little stories and rants, but thank you for joining us. And this is the good part, and you know what the best part is for you in your 20s and 30s? It's still the good part, you're just in the learning part, 40s and 50s. This is the good part. The cruisin part. The cruising part. Maybe later 40s, yeah. I think my early 40s. Well, I don't know. I sort of having fun, I guess, in my early 40s. Well, and then beyond is supposed to be even better. It is, it just keeps getting better and better.

49:13 SPEAKER_00: And what does that mean? Life is what you freaking make it, right? 100%. That's that's all it is. So it's like, right? Lemons into lemonade. Uh turning lemons into lemonade. My mother-in-law just said that to me um twice the other day or in the last couple weeks. She said, You sure do turn lemons into lemonade. And I said, Thank you, Mimi. I I do the best I can because what else do you have to do? No, I think that's I like And I love lemons anyway. Yes. And just a quick little tangent that lemons are also like a really fun little toy for women.

49:44 SPEAKER_00: So you guys should look that up too. Because that really does make lemons into lemonade. Oh, yeah. Okay. Just a side note. That's a whole that's a whole other tip. Okay, we'll get into that. Oh, geez, if if Mimi if if she hears that, that's a whole nother episode. That's a good cut this part. No, I don't need to cut it out. If you, if you Sorry, Mimi, I don't know you. If you uh what's the website? Uh Hello Nancy. Hello, Nancy is a website where you can go get your own lemon. Also not sponsored by Hello Nancy.

50:12 SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, we're not. But hello Nancy, go get your own lemon and just look it up, people. Lemon. What I'm gonna tell you is your decade just got better.

50:20 SPEAKER_01: Your decade just got better if you uh, yeah, and and we're not. Yeah, that's just this. We love you guys. We're so thankful you're here. Get ready for episode two, season two, coming up next. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest.

50:37 SPEAKER_00: Oh, and you know what we were gonna start closing with, because we're supposed to close with this last season. What did we always say with our girl game? Go fuck shit up.

50:44 SPEAKER_01: It's time to go fuck shit up because we could all be gone tomorrow. That's all I'm gonna say.

50:48 SPEAKER_00: Go live your best life. Go live your best life and go fix some shit, go find some shit up. We love you guys. We're so grateful you're here. Have a beautiful, beautiful rest of 2026.